I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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