You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
