when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
