My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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