Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
