Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
