His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize