i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
