Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
