You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
