Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
