omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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