a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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