Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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