her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
