no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize