So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
