just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
where are my eyebrows?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
