I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize