So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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