The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
