____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
