She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Where is the hickey?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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