Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
