i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
