So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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