So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Randomize