you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
