Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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