our cab driver is having phone sex.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
