Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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