He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
two words: eviction party
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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