I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
