I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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