now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
