You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
