I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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