i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
