have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
