im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
