Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
