i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
