Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize