I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
