Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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