Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
