I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
