I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
