Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
