i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The Olympian is in my bed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
