Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
