We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
