I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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