no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
