thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
too bad you live with your parents still
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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