$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
