I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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