I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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