"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
