i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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