It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize