So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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