Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
